Alien: Covenant is a Grade D science-fiction non-thriller, which, like the even worse Life, pitches stupid humans against a psycho-A.I. (Michael Fassbender as David*) and, ever so obviously, the A.I. wins. Hooray.
It’s just that there is zero tension because the outcome is so clear and you’re just wondering how fast the A.I. will do everyone in so you can leave. (I actually left right before the end.)
Please join me in saying a prayer for the great Producer/Director Ridley Scott. (I assume he’s been struck with some sort of brain disorder to have gotten involved with this piece of crap.)
I give Alien: Covenant a 1 out of 5.
*He also plays a decent A.I. named Walter.
Don’t mix them up like the stupid humans do.