Saturday, August 30, 2014

As Above, So Below

The only good things about Writer/Director John Erick Dowdle’s As Above, So Below are the end credits and song over them.  Otherwise, this waste of tape ranks as the worst film of the year, so far.

It starts out with main character Scarlett (Perdida Weeks…I think that translates into Lost Time) being interviewed on camera for a documentary.  Unfortunately, the cinematographer is the worst ever…or perhaps high on drugs, since the camera never stops bobbing until viewers lose all interest in what is being said or done.

But, okay, maybe this is a found-footage film.  However, soon there are 6 characters with cameras mounted on their foreheads as they go into the Paris catacombs.  Yet, there must be an uncredited invisible character, as well, since many of the shots could not have been made by any of the on-screen characters.  What's more, half of them die and even the survivors have lost their cameras, so this couldn’t have been a found-footage film, as the tapes remain buried in the catacombs.  Also, the 3 survivors are shot near Notre Dame Cathedral by the invisible character.

Actually, the story the search for the fabled Philosopher’s Stone might have been somewhat interesting, if it weren’t for this possibly most stupid decision in the history of film making.

As the plausibility of the film worsened as it dragged on, I heard audible moans from the audience and, then, realized they were coming from me.

There is an old adage that you can learn more about film making from a bad movie than from a good one.  However, this film is beyond bad.  Yet, it does produce a very positive result.  You end up realizing that no matter how many mistakes or failing you may have had in your life, they are overwhelmingly dwarfed by the making of this movie.
I give As Above, So Below a half of 1 point out of 5 and that’s only because of those end-titles.  See it only if you really hate yourself.

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